I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
