OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
