just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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