I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
