Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
