Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
