I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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