Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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