it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
