doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
