Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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