It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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