i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
