Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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