I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
vagina is talking i cant
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
