Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
