Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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