oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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