he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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