I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
