:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
