And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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