I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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