Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
