Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
