I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize