Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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