My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
