idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
