Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize