I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
