who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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