Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
