I must be too annoying 4 u.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I believe in your delicious
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize