Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
