I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
