We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
