chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i think my cat just said my name.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize