Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
