Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
