i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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