is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
