Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
