i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
