He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am one with the molecules
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
