There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
