My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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