I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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