So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
