fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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