what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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