I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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