Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
