We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
