your thong is hanging out like whoa
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
