just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
did you just send me my own nude
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
