i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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