You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
