I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
