You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
