this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize