dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize