just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
